This week Big Crits killed the server first Will of the Emperor. I was on the bench.
I'm glad that we killed it. I'm mad that I was sitting out for the kill, and I should have been in. I was in for most of the progression for this boss, healing as my offspec. We picked up some recruit healers this week, and I was set to go to kill the boss this week as my main spec.
First night of progression this week, I was having computer issues, so I sat while I put the finishing touches on my new computer. My hard drives got partitioned really weird when I set them up, so while merging them together the boot record got corrupted, so I had to re-install Windows again. I was irked that I couldnt get in on the boss attempts and listening to mumble of people making mistakes over and over and everyone getting frustrated. I wanted to be there.
Last night was the night that Big Crits killed it, and I wasn't raiding. I was sitting on the bench. I was ready to raid at the beginning of the night, when I had to do one last restart to get Mumble working, which took 10 minutes because Windows update decided to restart my computer 5 times to do more updating. All said and done, when I logged back in it was 5 after raid time, and I was on the bench. Fuck me, but oh well we have baddies and initiates that will probably be subbed at some point.
Oh one of the warlocks lost internet, and we need a sub. Goodie, I'll just wait to be pulled in.
10 minutes pass.
I say audibly on Mumble "Hey guys, I'm on the bench and I can come in right now"
"Hey initiate rogue, we are pulling you in for this boss"
Fucking seriously? Are you LITERALLY kidding me right now?
I shouldn't have stayed silent for that long. I should have said, right away, "Bring me in. Now." There were 5 initiates in for the kill last night, and being sat for raiders. I shouldn't be thinking about it this much but I am.
Was I being sat because of my skill as a player, because of my class, or is it as simple as me not being vocal and visible enough to get pulled into the raid? Now I'm just frustrated and questioning my place in the guild again, which I thought I had proven my skills and abilities to be a raider in. What more do I have to do?